Raymond Chandler parodies science fiction

‘Did you ever read what they call Science Fiction? It’s a scream. It is written like this: “I checked out with K19 on Aldabaran III, and stepped out through the crummalite hatch on my 22 Model Sirus Hardtop. I cocked the timejector in secondary and waded through the bright blue manda grass. My breath froze into pink pretzels. I flicked on the heat bars and the Brylls ran swiftly on five legs using their other two to send out crylon vibrations. The pressure was almost unbearable, but I caught the range on my wrist computer through the transparent cysicites. I pressed the trigger. The thin violet glow was icecold against the rust-colored mountains. The Brylls shrank to half an inch long and I worked fast stepping on them with the poltex. But it wasn’t enough. The sudden brightness swung me around and the Fourth Moon had already risen. I had exactly four seconds to hot up the disintegrator and Google had told me it wasn’t enough. He was right.”‘

I love science fiction, but I have to admit that parody is hilarious. And Raymond Chandler wrote it in 1953–yes, even with the Google reference! Here’s the source:


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2 Responses to Raymond Chandler parodies science fiction

  1. Hilarious, indeed! Thank goodness the genre has improved a bit since then.
    I wonder if the Google people filched the name from this.

    • Amy Raby says:

      Having read this, I almost wish Raymond Chandler had written science fiction. Some of that I actually like, such as the pink pretzels line. I doubt the Google folks filched the name. My guess is Chandler and the Google folks simply had the same idea, separated by 50 years, of giving a know-it-all “character” (person or search engine) the name of a ridiculously large number.

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